Sunday, July 2, 2023

After Effects: sub jason 3.5yr Summary


In sub jason's own words...

MsPatty has again requested a summary update of my journey with Her.  As far as functional improvements, very little has changed between my thighs.  my T-test results technically crossed the clinical low-normal line over the winter of 2023.  In the greater picture, my overall testosterone level still remains ~1/3 of what it was prior to MsPatty's modifications in December 2019.  i still experience random hot flashes.  my energy level (libido) to pursue the opposite sex remains low.  What has recently changed for me is my realization of how many of MsPatty's powerful desires are behind this journey.  During the first 4 years, i envisioned my high libido, and MsPatty's will, competed in many rounds of strength and endurance.  Then, during <December 2019's epic engagement>, She effortlessly decimated my libido in an hour.  The last ~3.5 years has effectively been MsPatty toying with what survived, me struggling with the reality of what transpired, and Her waiting patiently to administer the coup de grace.

After the first meeting in December 2015, MsPatty decided She would one day lead me to experience my fantasy of castration.  During the Summer of 2016 visit, She used Her <Burdizzo on both cords> to begin that process.  This allowed Her to demonstrate how fragile a connection they had to me.  She also declared that she was taking ownership of Her testicles.  Via regular physical and psychological strikes, She gradually separated them from the sexual image which i held of myself.  Even while this transpired, Her next desire soon emerged.  She sought to slowly diminish (damage) the function of one of Her nuts between my thighs.  She focused greater physical attention on the slightly smaller right orb, and/or its cord.  Any time i raised a concern, She pointed out that the other one would still try to make up for it...  December 2019's activities would also impose a greater effect upon it's function and size.  During Her recent Judgement Day 2022, MsPatty again targeted her 'little boy', <clamping his cord> for ~5 minutes.  While it appears to have survived Her latest efforts, i continue to feel the cord's ache ~6 months later.  Knowing that MsPatty is always pushing, Her continued pursuit is expected to cause it further functional decline. 

During November 2019, MsPatty decided to surprise me.  In what should have been my 'fantasy castration experience', She attempted to band Her nuts for an hour, but i was unable to last past 30 minutes.  To make up for this, i quickly promised to last the full hour (in December).  But MsPatty always wants more.  She now desired for me to experience an extended period of healing.  She wanted the expected 2-3 months of castration-like symptoms to linger for a bit longer.  She introduced Her acrylic ball press and added Everclear injections to realize this greater result, also increasing the risk for permanent damage.  As She spoke of in <July 2020>, MsPatty more than met and exceeded Her expectations in December 2019.  She feels no remorse at the result.  She took full control of 'Her boys' between my thighs that night.  From this point forward, my ability to engage in and enjoy sexual activities abruptly declined.  Sexual intimacy (i.e. - intercourse) with a woman will never be the same for me.  my efforts to get erect and effect a release is now high, with low a reward.

In the meantime, MsPatty continues to manipulate what little remains of my libido.  For now, i am still permitted to try to engage in sexual intercourse with a willing woman.  However, Her little pill is my only option to reliably get hard for a little while.  It is my only hope to penetrate, while i must still navigate all the complications of intimacy it now entails.  In my only other attempt to get laid ~2 years ago, without a pill, i failed to enter my partner.  Because i must use Her property (Her boys) and Her pill, i am required to notify MsPatty about any opportunity to have sex, and report on what transpired soon after.  Almost six years have now passed since i was last sexually intimate with a woman.

Soon after my first visit Her, MsPatty deemed me to be a chronic masturbator.  In the ~4 years which followed, She gradually reduced my frequency of self-indulgent releases from an average of ~12-14 times/week, to ~1/week.  More recently, that average has fallen further, now with only 22 releases in the first half / ~26 weeks of 2023.  Always desiring more control, MsPatty now requires me to seek Her permission before releasing at all times.  She has warned She will grant it less frequently than before.  Also, when i am permitted to self-release, i am not permitted to enjoy them anymore.  i.e. it must be blocked/ruined.  What i used to enjoy no longer brings me pleasure, and instead my frustration from it brings pleasure to MsPatty.

i know my ongoing struggle with the effects of low testosterone continues to thrill MsPatty.  At the same time, i had never expected to be permanently modified or castrated.  i have slowly come to terms with Her permanent modifications.  This includes the erectile dysfunction and my loss of sexual confidence.  Despite the last three Judgement Days each granting me another year of use of 'Her boys', my mind has clung to the notion that this has all been part of my fantasy castration experience.  Only in the past month have i come to realize one more of MsPatty's deepest desires.  Her desire has been to turn my castration fantasy into my reality.  She knows that, while She plays hard with Her modified 'boys', one day it will be too much.  Once they fail, Her desire will be fulfilled.  

In the meantime, MsPatty calls Her boys home to visit Her every few months, and i must bring them.  MsPatty fully controls what remains of my sex.