Sunday, September 27, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 9 month update continues...

9 Month Summary, directly from sub jason

Nine months, or slightly more than 40 weeks, have now passed since MsPatty allowed me to keep Her balls between my thighs, but deprived me of my ability to make use of them.

The very short version, if you are reading this for the first time, is that on the evening of December 26th, 2019, MsPatty banded Her testicles between my thighs for an hour.  Half way into that hour, Her needles introduced 3cc of Everclear into many different regions of both testicles.  Production of testosterone ceased and my levels plummeted over the next ~10-11 hours to (effectively) castrate levels.  Masked by a 2000cc saline infusion of my scrotum, both testicles had shut down and eventually swelled to well over 2x normal volume.  At 2-3 weeks past this size peak, they had atrophied to a raisin-like texture and slightly less than 1/2 their original volume.  The rest of the details from this journey until now are in the regular MsPatty Medical Blog updates.

As of this month, it would be unfair to say i am without some form of libido. i am able to reach a mild thickening erection of maybe 3" with the right mental stimulation, but it is not easy, and not in any way 'hard'.  Additional physical stimulation still needs to be provided, well focused, and maintained, or it will quickly soften.  Length is similar to the past few months at best effort, still 10-15% less than before.  Girth may be slightly off but close.  The scrotum continues to have a minimal profile when it pulls up/contracts - as it's contents are visually nowhere near what they once were in overall size/volume.  i have described to MsPatty that the point where good stiffness is achieved and the point where a male goes over the trigger edge into a release is very narrow for me.  Release quality is poorly 'mixed', with an initial mostly clear/liquid fluid pulse or two followed by maybe 2+ thicker white blobs and then some thinner mixed dribble.  The spasms and euphoria also fade oft quicker than in my healthy days.  Assuming an erection could be maintained for successful penetrative sex, there will still be nothing left in the tank afterward.  A similar interest/response and release qty needs close to a week to re-charge.

i had set a hopeful goal over the summer as some positive improvements in my libido appeared.  That goal, with MsPatty aware this time, was to try to have normal sex with a wiling vanilla-world lady friend when we may be in the same area sometime near Thanksgiving.  That is now less than ~2 months away.  If that opportunity appears, i am less than optimistic that i would be able to perform at that time.  Even with boost supplements and a cock ring to help maintain stiffness, getting there remains difficult.  It's not something that you can diplomatically say 'wait a minute while i get myself hard' in the middle of things getting hot and heavy.  It's just supposed to work down there, but it doesn't.  i may find myself needing to make excuses, and having to ward off the expected sexual advances - advances that my brain wants to return but my body can't back it up with actions.  This erectile dysfunction of course amuses MsPatty as i remain frustrated, and at this point, still well away from what is needed for 'normal' function.

MsPatty has hinted at posting a reader survey regarding my continued use of Her testicles - in their current state/whatever that may be at that point - for another year, just as the December 1yr anniversary date comes up.  my reason to keep use of them for another year is they are still healing, and progress on that front is still being made.  my frustration at being unable to perform also provides Her regular entertainment.  i would hope my plight might find sympathy at least with those still desiring to have and achieving normal sex with a willing woman.  If you are in a different camp on this, i encourage you to join MsPatty in exploring these spaces in your mind, as your body naturally follows closely behind.

To wrap up this month's summary, my free-T levels are approaching the bottom edge of what is considered the normal range if the home saliva-based test is a valid indicator. my body of course was used to a healthy 'normal' level, likely somewhere in the center to maybe just above that defined range.  i can mentally and physically notice the T-level being slightly higher in the morning, and then lower in the evening - a natural rhythm in the body.  Brief hot flashes still occasionally crop up at the 'lower' times if it's been a particularly physical or hot/humid day, or i have been very busy for long hours working.  i am still concerned that the healing plateau is not far off, leaving me just short of a sufficient recovery.  i have a visit to MsPatty at exactly the 9-month point, and She plans to get my measurements and examine me for an update.  A more inclusive blood-based T-test is also being considered, measuring both my total and free levels of testosterone.

Latest Update:

After Effects: sub jason 9 month update...


Latest Testicle Measurements:

- Left testicle

March 2020: 3.6cm x 2.6cm x 1.6cm -> 62.731322105313

May 2020: 3.65cm x 2.8cm x 1.65cm -> 70.635569221547

July 2020: 3.7cm x 2.9cm x 1.7cm -> 76.407722123598

Aug 2020: 3.85cm x 2.9cm x 1.85cm -> 86.520508875251

Sept 2020: 3.9cm x 3.2cm x 1.9cm ->99.324593335849

- Right testicle

March 2020: 3.5cm x 2.2cm x 1.4cm -> 45.155158406468

  May 2020: 3.6cm x 2.5cm x 1.6cm -> 60.318578947416

July 2020: 3.95cm x 2.9cm x 1.9cm -> 91.166924409794

Aug 2020: 4.1cm x 3.1cm x x1.9cm -> 101.155094652858

Sept 2020: 4.3cm x 3.4cm x 2.2cm -> 126.803057079293

Sunday, September 20, 2020

A quickie with Fetishist W...

     My time with Fetishist w this past week was much shorter than expected but I did manage to amuse Myself even if only for an hour. I began by restraining him with My medical restraints then proceeded to open up that bitch between his legs. Since his cock head has girth when hard, using My urethral stretchers was challenging but with time and force I succeeded. As you can see by My eye candy above as well as on My Video Gallery below, in time I expect to be able to fuck his pisshole with My entire finger. 

Sunday, September 6, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 8 month update continues...

8 Month Summary, directly from sub jason.

my libido recovery remains frustratingly slow. Mentally triggered erections are still low or only brief, mild/soft thickening, and more typically ‘stubby’.  Getting a firm erection is possible with sufficient physical stimulation, but there is little room in the relative gap between getting enough hardness to perform and triggering a sexual release.  Recovery after a release remains at a few days - I.e where the urge to perform again returns and a sufficient available ejaculate qty. is available - both remain well below sufficient for follow-up activity.

These dysfunctional symptoms continue to discourage my seeking natural sexual interactions with a woman. It is the fear of failure and embarrassment by being unable to satisfy her in ways i have known how to (and mutually enjoy) in times past.  Using supplements and/or a physical ring to enhance my erection / functionality may offer a one-shot opportunity. Yet, the reality is a healthy libido at my age should enable sexual acts like this about 2-3 times a day (instead of about once a week).  This is certainly an improvement over the previous months of general sexual organ atrophy and systematic failure. At the same time, it only takes a reach down between my legs, after a shower in the morning or when getting ready for bedtime, to feel the overall smaller external ‘package’ that now resides there.  It was once judged average to slightly above (generally desirable) by some of the female gender in the past. 

i continue to wonder how much longer until my recovery plateaus? and will the ‘80%’ hoped for be enough? MsPatty has had several opportunities to examine Her results from December in this past month. She remains thrilled both watching and reading about my struggles and continued shortcomings.