In sub jason's own words...
Since MsPatty shared my last personal update, there have been few observed changes. my sensitivity to physical stimulation down below remains low. In the early morning, when testosterone peaks, my ability to physically stimulate an erection is slightly easier, but nothing to celebrate. Spontaneous erections from mental arousal alone remains elusive. An erection, without maintaining physical stimulation, and my mental attention, quickly deflates. Using a ring at the base sometimes helps maintain it a little, but it's not reliable. my best erection today remains 1" shorter than it used to be, and always less firm. i continue to experience difficulties in maintaining a comfortable body temperature, particularly during the overnight. i have noted an overall reduction in personal energy and motivation for doing physical activities.
During my first visit in December 2015, 6-3/4 years ago, MsPatty confirmed my interest in Fantasy Castration. Years later, She would reveal that by the end of that visit, She had decided on two goals. 1) She would one day leave Her mark on me, and 2) She would one day lead me to experience the symptoms of castration. Four years later, She achieved both, and exceed her expectations on the latter. Her achievement has permanently deprived me of my (formerly) strong libido. Most of the sexual activities i once enjoyed i can no longer pursue. MsPatty is not bothered by this significant outcome. She claims this is Her way of reminding me of 'the male slut i used to be', regardless of my attempts to argue otherwise. She highlights all of the poor choices i made over the past ~35 years. Among them, She points to the many partners i had, and my multiple attempts with each, failing to impregnate any of them, even with my rare use of condoms. MsPatty frequently reminds me She has (so far) allowed me to 'keep Her boys between my thighs', but in a greatly reduced functional state.
Between my thighs, it no longer feels like a strong and stable platform for engaging in sexual activity - it sometimes feels completely absent in the day or so after a release. The urge to masturbate strikes once, or maybe twice, a week. It used to occur most mornings and occasionally in the afternoon or evening. To gain an erection, i have to continually stimulate myself by hand, mentally focusing on staying hard, and on what MsPatty has done there, instead of (previously) trying to enjoy the journey up the orgasmic incline with a random partner (real or fantasy) and ride the euphoric edge as long as possible. my delivery process now has fewer pulses, each are weaker, and the thinner mixture is quickly exhausted. It seems to take more energy from me to achieve, and the euphoria from it quickly fades.
Biologically, 3+ days must pass after a previous release before my body replenishes enough fluids for another reasonable discharge. my output, when waiting less time, is drizzly, or merely a small squirt. The overall quality, once copious and thick, is a thinner liquid with some thicker globs. This implies lower overall sperm production, and lacking in other components in the mix. i was once capable of ~2-3 viable releases a day, but like many of the vivid memories i had from past encounters, both have faded out of reach. my only attempt at having penetrative sex since MsPatty's modifications was last year. i attempted entering several times, with my most recent partner, after physically stroking myself to an erection, but quickly became too limp each time. The last time i had successful sexual intercourse was with them ~5 years ago. MsPatty has made it harder for me to reach an orgasm, made it less enjoyable once getting there, and made what i produce less viable - if it can ever be delivered on target again.
MsPatty has since graciously offered me a pill which can provide an erection for a short time. The criteria for its use, and the delay before its effects show, make spontaneous use nearly impossible, and planned use difficult. First, i must vet any possible partner with MsPatty. The pill, taken orally, takes about 30 minutes to take effect. It provides only about 30 minutes of useful stiffness, with no improvement in sensitivity. i am only to take the pill if i am sure i am going to enter my partner's pussy - i cannot waste it on speculation or other activities. Soon after, i am required to describe, in detail, the entire encounter to MsPatty. i know my efforts must also please MsPatty in what i do, or i may not be granted another pill. This leaves little overall time to just enjoy. Other factors include 1) i am insecure, not knowing if i can reach a climax from just penetration stimulation - i am convinced a condom would make it all but impossible to feel anything, 2) my partners are relatively vanilla, and an explanation of where my issues come from are hardly pillow talk, and 3) i would have nothing left in my tank if a 'second effort' was called for. MsPatty, of course, suggests i should, "...not concern myself with my little problems <wicker giggle>, just please your partner."
All of my frustration is directly attributed to low testosterone. Prior to MsPatty’s modifications, each testicle would have functioned at ~50% (with a 50% reserve). One fully healthy organ could still provide normal levels of testosterone, sperm, and generation of other related fluids. From the most recent T-test, my level only improved a few percent closer to the low/normal line. The function/output of each of 'her boys' is estimated at only 15-20%, with no reserve. MsPatty has effectively reduced my testosterone level to ~1/3 of a normal male. Only a very small improvement in T level has been gradually seen over the last 2+ years. It seems unlikely that i will attain even 1/2 of my former level. This also assumes MsPatty does not make further modifications.
MsPatty remains thrilled by my ongoing struggle from Her leaving Her eternal mark inside me. She recently passed along a question from several: Was this something i wanted (permanently)? or expected to happen? The simple answer is no, it is/was not, but how it transpired is not so clear cut. i chose to accept certain risks, and there were also added unknowns which i allowed to contribute. The result has become my unique journey with MsPatty, and i must live with it. From this, MsPatty happily reminds me of the pride She feels having modified my sexual responses. From this, She knows She will always control my sexual future.
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Now for My own words...My balls between sub jason's thighs will be up for My judgement again at the end of the year. Will they remain as they are, or will I finally kill them permanently? Time will only tell. <wicked grin>
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