Sunday, November 29, 2020

Current Testicle Measurements...sub jason.

- Left testicle

March 2020: 3.6cm x 2.6cm x 1.6cm -> 62.731

May 2020: 3.65cm x 2.8cm x 1.65cm -> 70.635

July 2020: 3.7cm x 2.9cm x 1.7cm -> 76.407

Aug 2020: 3.85cm x 2.9cm x 1.85cm -> 86.520

Sept 2020: 3.9cm x 3.2cm x 1.9cm -> 99.324

Oct 2020: 3.85cm x 3.2cm x 1.85cm -> 95.470

Nov 2020: 3.95cm x 3.3cm x 1.85cm -> 101.011

- Right testicle

March 2020: 3.5cm x 2.2cm x 1.4cm -> 45.155

May 2020: 3.6cm x 2.5cm x 1.6cm -> 60.318

July 2020: 3.95cm x 2.9cm x 1.9cm -> 91.166

Aug 2020: 4.1cm x 3.1cm x x1.9cm -> 101.155

Sept 2020: 4.3cm x 3.4cm x 2.2cm -> 126.803

Oct 2020: 4.2cm x 3.5cm x 2.35cm -> 144.701

Nov 2020: 4.35cm x 3.5cm x 2.4cm -> 153.058

Latest Update:

#blonde bbw, #extreme cbt, #Everclear injections, #body modification, #medfet, #banding, #bdsm medical fetish, #medical cbt, #sub jason update

Monday, November 23, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 11 month update...

 11 Month Summary, directly from sub jason

You see, or think about, someone which has piqued your interest, and you feel sexually attracted to them. Maybe you have had great sex with them already or your imagination has nicely filled in those blanks. Your (male) body reacts by causing your penis to engorge inside your underwear, getting uncomfortably hard...or it used to. Despite the mental triggers going off, it remains soft/retracted, in it's little bulbish-pod between your thighs.  Eleven months ago, MsPatty modified Her testicles between my thighs. i have since been deprived of healthy testosterone levels, and the natural, spontaneous, mentally-driven erections they produced.  My libido has returned just enough to remember what is supposed to be happening down there, but things frustratingly don't respond quite as they should.

Another T- test will be taken near the end of November, and the results are expected in soon after.  Although i edge closer each time to the 'normal' range, i believe the healing process has started to slow down.  The free/full testosterone graphs over this journey are showing a diminishing rate of recovery as more time passes.  MsPatty believes i would eventually cross the line into normal again, yet i am not sure when that will happen, or how far into normal will be achieved. To quote MsPatty from the July update, "they will never be the same as they were before...".  They certainly feel and look smaller than they were just one year ago...

My last update alluded to a possible encounter with a past lady friend.  World events have again kept us at significant distance. At the same time, despite my initial use of the booster supplements this month, and a heightened mental libido edge from them, rising and maintaining an erection without physical stimulation remains elusive.  The last time i had sex with any woman was with this lady friend, now over 3 years ago.  It can only be speculated on at this point, but it now seems unlikely i could have participated in sexual activity had the opportunity arisen.  Confidence in my ability to engage in coitus with any woman remains elusive at this point.

In one month, at the one year anniversary of this journey, i will return to MsPatty for another update exam and further T-tests will be taken.

Latest Update:

#blonde bbw, #extreme cbt, #Everclear injections, #body modification, #medfet, #banding, #bdsm medical fetish, #medical cbt, #sub jason update

Sunday, October 25, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 10 month update...

 10 Month Summary, directly from sub jason

my symptoms since September's 9-month update remain about the same, w/possibly some minor improvement, but barely measurable.  That is to say that i am still frustrated, being nearly on the edge of attaining normal sexual relations, but even if it is possible, it will be days, not hours, before repeat activities could be possible.  This of course continues to entertain Ms Patty, now 10 months later.

At the end of September during my last visit, Ms Patty assisted in getting a sample for a blood-based Testosterone test.  After sending it off, i am closing in on, but still not in, the bottom of the range that is considered normal.  The physical responses i experience mimic these borderline test results.  This blood-based T-test also helped to confirm the 3 previous saliva-based free-testosterone tests.

i will start taking the oral T-booster supplement as the last days of October pass.  The hope is that it generates an extra percent of capacity should i encounter my lady friend from a few years ago, possibly later in November.  It was around this time last year that we had planned a cruise vacation for late March, with plenty of frolicking expected.  That vacation was canceled due to the pandemic, but it is obvious now that my ability to sexually participate had been canceled three months prior.  The pandemic effectively saved me from the embarrassment of impotency.

Below are my current measurements in with the previous. MsPatty's game of "runt" seems to have had an effect on the one...

- Left testicle

March 2020: 3.6cm x 2.6cm x 1.6cm -> 62.731322105313

May 2020: 3.65cm x 2.8cm x 1.65cm -> 70.635569221547

July 2020: 3.7cm x 2.9cm x 1.7cm -> 76.407722123598

Aug 2020: 3.85cm x 2.9cm x 1.85cm -> 86.520508875251

Sept 2020: 3.9cm x 3.2cm x 1.9cm -> 99.324593335849

Oct 2020: 3.85cm x 3.2cm x 1.85cm -> 95.4709063474914

- Right testicle

March 2020: 3.5cm x 2.2cm x 1.4cm -> 45.155158406468

May 2020: 3.6cm x 2.5cm x 1.6cm -> 60.318578947416

July 2020: 3.95cm x 2.9cm x 1.9cm -> 91.166924409794

Aug 2020: 4.1cm x 3.1cm x x1.9cm -> 101.155094652858

Sept 2020: 4.3cm x 3.4cm x 2.2cm -> 126.803057079293

Oct 2020: 4.2cm x 3.5cm x 2.35cm -> 144.701757624345

Latest Update:

Sunday, September 27, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 9 month update continues...

9 Month Summary, directly from sub jason

Nine months, or slightly more than 40 weeks, have now passed since MsPatty allowed me to keep Her balls between my thighs, but deprived me of my ability to make use of them.

The very short version, if you are reading this for the first time, is that on the evening of December 26th, 2019, MsPatty banded Her testicles between my thighs for an hour.  Half way into that hour, Her needles introduced 3cc of Everclear into many different regions of both testicles.  Production of testosterone ceased and my levels plummeted over the next ~10-11 hours to (effectively) castrate levels.  Masked by a 2000cc saline infusion of my scrotum, both testicles had shut down and eventually swelled to well over 2x normal volume.  At 2-3 weeks past this size peak, they had atrophied to a raisin-like texture and slightly less than 1/2 their original volume.  The rest of the details from this journey until now are in the regular MsPatty Medical Blog updates.

As of this month, it would be unfair to say i am without some form of libido. i am able to reach a mild thickening erection of maybe 3" with the right mental stimulation, but it is not easy, and not in any way 'hard'.  Additional physical stimulation still needs to be provided, well focused, and maintained, or it will quickly soften.  Length is similar to the past few months at best effort, still 10-15% less than before.  Girth may be slightly off but close.  The scrotum continues to have a minimal profile when it pulls up/contracts - as it's contents are visually nowhere near what they once were in overall size/volume.  i have described to MsPatty that the point where good stiffness is achieved and the point where a male goes over the trigger edge into a release is very narrow for me.  Release quality is poorly 'mixed', with an initial mostly clear/liquid fluid pulse or two followed by maybe 2+ thicker white blobs and then some thinner mixed dribble.  The spasms and euphoria also fade oft quicker than in my healthy days.  Assuming an erection could be maintained for successful penetrative sex, there will still be nothing left in the tank afterward.  A similar interest/response and release qty needs close to a week to re-charge.

i had set a hopeful goal over the summer as some positive improvements in my libido appeared.  That goal, with MsPatty aware this time, was to try to have normal sex with a wiling vanilla-world lady friend when we may be in the same area sometime near Thanksgiving.  That is now less than ~2 months away.  If that opportunity appears, i am less than optimistic that i would be able to perform at that time.  Even with boost supplements and a cock ring to help maintain stiffness, getting there remains difficult.  It's not something that you can diplomatically say 'wait a minute while i get myself hard' in the middle of things getting hot and heavy.  It's just supposed to work down there, but it doesn't.  i may find myself needing to make excuses, and having to ward off the expected sexual advances - advances that my brain wants to return but my body can't back it up with actions.  This erectile dysfunction of course amuses MsPatty as i remain frustrated, and at this point, still well away from what is needed for 'normal' function.

MsPatty has hinted at posting a reader survey regarding my continued use of Her testicles - in their current state/whatever that may be at that point - for another year, just as the December 1yr anniversary date comes up.  my reason to keep use of them for another year is they are still healing, and progress on that front is still being made.  my frustration at being unable to perform also provides Her regular entertainment.  i would hope my plight might find sympathy at least with those still desiring to have and achieving normal sex with a willing woman.  If you are in a different camp on this, i encourage you to join MsPatty in exploring these spaces in your mind, as your body naturally follows closely behind.

To wrap up this month's summary, my free-T levels are approaching the bottom edge of what is considered the normal range if the home saliva-based test is a valid indicator. my body of course was used to a healthy 'normal' level, likely somewhere in the center to maybe just above that defined range.  i can mentally and physically notice the T-level being slightly higher in the morning, and then lower in the evening - a natural rhythm in the body.  Brief hot flashes still occasionally crop up at the 'lower' times if it's been a particularly physical or hot/humid day, or i have been very busy for long hours working.  i am still concerned that the healing plateau is not far off, leaving me just short of a sufficient recovery.  i have a visit to MsPatty at exactly the 9-month point, and She plans to get my measurements and examine me for an update.  A more inclusive blood-based T-test is also being considered, measuring both my total and free levels of testosterone.

Latest Update:

After Effects: sub jason 9 month update...

 

Latest Testicle Measurements:

- Left testicle

March 2020: 3.6cm x 2.6cm x 1.6cm -> 62.731322105313

May 2020: 3.65cm x 2.8cm x 1.65cm -> 70.635569221547

July 2020: 3.7cm x 2.9cm x 1.7cm -> 76.407722123598

Aug 2020: 3.85cm x 2.9cm x 1.85cm -> 86.520508875251

Sept 2020: 3.9cm x 3.2cm x 1.9cm ->99.324593335849

- Right testicle

March 2020: 3.5cm x 2.2cm x 1.4cm -> 45.155158406468

  May 2020: 3.6cm x 2.5cm x 1.6cm -> 60.318578947416

July 2020: 3.95cm x 2.9cm x 1.9cm -> 91.166924409794

Aug 2020: 4.1cm x 3.1cm x x1.9cm -> 101.155094652858

Sept 2020: 4.3cm x 3.4cm x 2.2cm -> 126.803057079293

Sunday, September 20, 2020

A quickie with Fetishist W...

     My time with Fetishist w this past week was much shorter than expected but I did manage to amuse Myself even if only for an hour. I began by restraining him with My medical restraints then proceeded to open up that bitch between his legs. Since his cock head has girth when hard, using My urethral stretchers was challenging but with time and force I succeeded. As you can see by My eye candy above as well as on My Video Gallery below, in time I expect to be able to fuck his pisshole with My entire finger. 

Sunday, September 6, 2020

After Effects: sub jason 8 month update continues...


8 Month Summary, directly from sub jason.

my libido recovery remains frustratingly slow. Mentally triggered erections are still low or only brief, mild/soft thickening, and more typically ‘stubby’.  Getting a firm erection is possible with sufficient physical stimulation, but there is little room in the relative gap between getting enough hardness to perform and triggering a sexual release.  Recovery after a release remains at a few days - I.e where the urge to perform again returns and a sufficient available ejaculate qty. is available - both remain well below sufficient for follow-up activity.


These dysfunctional symptoms continue to discourage my seeking natural sexual interactions with a woman. It is the fear of failure and embarrassment by being unable to satisfy her in ways i have known how to (and mutually enjoy) in times past.  Using supplements and/or a physical ring to enhance my erection / functionality may offer a one-shot opportunity. Yet, the reality is a healthy libido at my age should enable sexual acts like this about 2-3 times a day (instead of about once a week).  This is certainly an improvement over the previous months of general sexual organ atrophy and systematic failure. At the same time, it only takes a reach down between my legs, after a shower in the morning or when getting ready for bedtime, to feel the overall smaller external ‘package’ that now resides there.  It was once judged average to slightly above (generally desirable) by some of the female gender in the past. 


i continue to wonder how much longer until my recovery plateaus? and will the ‘80%’ hoped for be enough? MsPatty has had several opportunities to examine Her results from December in this past month. She remains thrilled both watching and reading about my struggles and continued shortcomings.