Inspired by MsPatty's words, ghost written by sub jason.
(Circa Late 2015)
I want you to know I am excited that W/we share an interest in your fantasy of experiencing castration. From My past experience, each fantasy can and usually does unfold in a different way. I can already tell this will be an exciting and unique journey. Therefore, I am confident that one day you will get to experience the effects of castration. <evil chuckle>
Over the many visits you will make over the upcoming years, this journey will brush upon several different methods of castration. During each encounter, I will be picking through your mind, exploring your physical and emotional responses, and gauging your tolerance. I encourage you to continue to research the various non-surgical methods of castration. Even if some methods are not realistically possible, tell me about the ones which interest you. They help Me to understand where your mind is, and where it is going. I encourage you to begin to write your own fantasy stories, and I will want to read them.
As part of the journey, you can expect Me to give you certain activities or restrictions in advance which help Me and help to prepare you. For example, you will shave your groin area well just before our times together. During times when we are not meeting, you will inform me about any sexual interactions, or kink activities you may otherwise engage in. If I have any questions, you will respond with honestly. You will also not ejaculate for at least a week prior to visiting Me. In time, you will offer to abstain from releasing even longer for Me.
Over the course of these shared experiences, I value your feedback - down to even the minor details. You will begin tracking your thoughts and activities and keep them as a log. I will also encourage you to explore and share your childhood memories, and your sexual past, as they tend to pop up and grant me additional insight into your mind. You will try to explain to Me any connections which you think can be made with your current interests. When a suitable interval is reached, you will copy them into an e-mail, and send the latest entries to Me. I love to know the path which has led My balls between your thighs back home to Me.
While I do not cater to specific requests unless it interests Me, I will want to know what you are thinking leading up to a visit. You will keep me updated about any pain or discomfort you feel after a visit. Don't worry, from time to time you will take home lingering reminders <evil chuckle>. You will explain what you are feeling & notice, describing any healing time afterward. You will also provide Me feedback on other shared interests that are explored during these meetings.
In the months after meeting for the first time, you took an interest in the CaCl injections experienced by another. The goal on that journey was for chemical castration. This topic is obviously a soft spot in your mind. I will be pressing on it next time, and many more after that.
Nearly all of my castration fantasy interests have heard of, or read about on my blog, a Burdizzo. Few know how painful the experience is until I have their cords crimped firmly between the jaws of my tool; but you will soon feel its unrelenting grip. It is around this time that I prefer to establish ownership of My balls between your thighs. While clamping the spermatic cords to full castration is not for most, partial clamping has an incredible impact. The pain of this partial (fantasy) clamping helps illuminate how fragile your connection to My balls is. This pain is quite useful to help Me begin to separate your mind and your sexual identity from My balls.
I will continue infusing your scrotum with more saline each time, so you will begin stretching it at regular intervals. You will obtain one or more items to assist in that effort. I will encourage you to stretch for longer, more often, along with greater weight for short periods, when leading up to each visit.
(Winter 2016-Spring 2017)
You will try to anticipate what may or may not be in store for an upcoming visit. What I say, and what I write, will be geared toward that next experience, or possibly a later one. I will skip over some topics you may ask about as they may or may not apply to what I currently have in mind. In any case, I know it benefits Me for your mind to consider My lack of an answer. At other times, I will tell you some portion of what is going to happen so your mind gets pulled down the rabbit hole to consider even deeper consequences. I adore both the long and the subtle mind fuck.
(Winter 2017-Spring 2018)
After 2 years, My balls have done well, handling compression, skewering, and electro in stride, although your cords still remember the press of my Burdizzo. They have also handled infusions of both saline and Everclear. My balls between your thighs are a hearty pair with fairly high output and good natural resiliency. Nevertheless, my Everclear infusion dimmed your libido for several months before recovering, and it took you some time to realize it. This means one of My ball's control points has quietly been identified, and you will come to realize how much I crave that control. I have much more fun planned for them in other ways, too. I have not forgotten about your first fantasy story you shared some time ago, either.
After 3 years of visits, you will become curious about entering extended chastity periods for Me from My posting of this activity with others. I will encourage it, of course. Chastity serves Me as you hand over more control. Chastity also restricts you from playing with My property and carelessly spilling My boys' seed.
I was thrilled by your positive reaction to My ball's first banding for 30 minutes. It also put a great smile on my face when I forced you to ejaculate while banded, and you were thinking it was your last. I could tell I led your mind smoothly across a very special line as you granted Me full control of your sexual future. You won't know when, but banding will be a significant part of how I will lead you to experience the effects of castration <wicked giggle>.
My surprise banding didn't work out as expected, but the knowledge you gained of what almost happened, and what I have planned for next time, is mind-blowing, isn't it? You are excited about doing better to prepare, to remain banded for the entire duration, and very curious about what the experience entails. By banding My balls for an hour, I will take away your libido, but you have no idea yet what it will feel like. You have always been one with your sexual essence since puberty. Soon you will experience what it was like to be without it. In the buzz of the moment, you even granted Me an opportunity to inject My balls with something other than inert saline. Never one to refrain from a challenge, or a good mind fuck, you can try to guess what I have in mind... I can smell My victory already.
(December 26, 2019 / The Day Of):
- You arrive hydrated and prepared for the enema you will be given soon after you arrive.
- Once in My space, I restrain you, legs suspended high, and spread, so I have access to My balls.
- My band closes over your scrotum's neck with a snap, and my timer starts.
- My acrylic press forces My balls' excess fluids past the band, lowering internal fluid pressure.
- My electro helps distract you from the passage of time.
- I inject each of My balls with 2cc of Everclear at 30 minutes. They will remember me forever.
- As the pain from the band escalates, I keep you distracted until the timer is up.
- I cut My band after 1hr, your body shudders, and My panties are wet.
- I smile knowing that I have left My mark inside My balls, and your sexual future forever changed.
(Soon After And The Next Morning)
The one-hour banding experience by itself is intense. You wonder for a bit what has actually occurred. A few details will eventually become clear:
- Both of My balls, deprived of oxygenated blood for an extended period, are in shock, and have shut down.
- Sperm maturation and testosterone production, a cycle which extends over ~64-72 days, has been aborted.
- Just like a castrated male, testosterone is no longer entering your bloodstream from its primary source.
- You have already forgotten about the 3+ month chastity edge you walked in with.
- Just like a castrated male, your blood testosterone level declines, soon reaching a negligible level.
- For the night ahead, I enjoy filling your scrotum full with saline, and playing with it, and your mind.
- The next morning, I force you to ejaculate a little thick sludge - all that remains in you. Despite an intense effort on your part to emit it, this is only a hint of the struggle which is to come.
You will next encounter the symptoms of testosterone loss. You will send Me updates on everything you experience.
(The Next Few Days)
After experiencing your first day of your fantasy castration journey, these symptoms are right around the corner:
- Both of My balls inside that scrotum will swell unnaturally to 2-3 times their normal size as your body rushes nearby fluids to address their internal damage.
- As in times past, your significantly infused scrotum will take several days to dissipate.
- The pain and swelling you feel in your cords and groin area from the banding and ejaculating while everything was greatly inflamed will linger for about a week, and then begin to subside.
- Your ability to experience spontaneous erections has already faded, and generating them from manual stimulation is already in decline.
- Lacking testosterone, your body will produce less secondary sexual resources (i.e., ejaculate fluids), and what ejaculate you produce will thin out from a lack of newly matured sperm.
- You will soon find it difficult to reach and control a climax/release, despite a reoccurring itch to experience it more often.
You are now experiencing what a male encounters soon after his testicles are removed (castration).
As My balls' swelling subsides over the next ~2 weeks, you will begin to notice some additional effects. They are all likely to linger for quite awhile:
- My nuts will atrophy, becoming firm and bumpy, shrinking to less than 1/2 of their normal size.
- you will feel like something is missing - your groin area will feel like a void, and the area will frequently feel damp.
- your cock will noticeably retract/shrink, and its sensitivity will diminish to that of normal skin.
- Your interest in the opposite sex will fade away.
- Any weak erection you can produce will take focused manual effort, and be difficult to maintain.
- Any releases you achieve will have chronically low fluid output, requiring many days in between attempts to emit more than dribbles.
- You will begin to feel the common effects of hormonal menopause, just like a woman would:
-> random hot/cold flashes
-> night sweats
-> difficulty managing a comfortable body temperature
You will notice that strong physical activity may bring about menopausal symptoms more frequently. Over an extended time, your body will acclimate to any hormonal changes.
You will continue updating Me with what you are experiencing and thinking. You will confirm each of these symptoms as you encounter them.
you begin to notice some small amount of recovery, offering a glimmer of hope. The still-viable areas in each of My nuts have restarted their normal processes. However, My nuts are much smaller now, and their functional output greatly reduced. You have entered the next phase of recovery. I will encourage you to be patient. This recovery will be slow since I injected Everclear, and will seem to go on for a long time.
you begin feeling as if your healing has slowed. Also, your frustration with being sexually impotent is growing. I remind you that it does not concern me at all that you struggle at being limp and unable to sexually perform. In fact, I find it quite amusing. My nuts no longer function for you as they once did, and instead, they function only for My pleasure. you will begin to think that those natural sexual activities you once desired and pursued will no longer be achievable.
A full testosterone test result reveals your level remains quite a bit below normal. I will remind you to think about all that testosterone My nuts between your thighs once produced; the strength it used to give your now dysfunctional cock; the firm anchor of pride which once warmed your loins; it was undeniably what led you, and My boys, to Me, all those years ago. Isn't it amazing how My balls testosterone influences you, for good or bad? <wicked giggle>
Knowing that you continue to struggle every day with the effects of low testosterone brings a smile to my face. While you are not technically castrated, My nuts between your thighs now function differently, and only for Me. I am constantly thrilled that I have significantly changed your sexual future by taking control. you will have difficulty accepting this. The effect I have had on my nuts, and thereby you, cannot be denied. You will eventually accept that you are borrowing the use of My nuts between your thighs. It will be determined on a year to year basis whether you may continue using them.
(2022 & Onward)
For the foreseeable future, you can look forward to both incremental improvements and undeniable realities:
- Your body will continue to rebuild My nuts, but they have suffered permanent internal damage, so their output will never be equal to what you once knew.
- Your testosterone level will remain below normal for some time. It will eventually rise, in small amounts, over an extended period, but the strong libido you once had is unlikely to return.
- Many of your past sexual memories will begin to fade as your mind gets used to much less testosterone, and those memories no longer trigger.
- Orgasms will never be as rewarding, or carry the extended euphoric rewards, as you once knew.
- Having been quite proud of your former 6" penis, then experienced its atrophy and ongoing erectile dysfunction, you will continually struggle to regain your sexual confidence.
- If you ever again succeed at penetrative sex with another woman, it will seem more of a chore, and less of a reward, than you have always remembered.
Each yearly anniversary I will revisit my lease for you to use My boys. The question will always be: Will I take them this time? Craving their past experiences, My boys will drive you to play My game, and you will not hesitate to follow. The first few times will seem to be left to chance; with all the various castration methods possibly being next. I know that keeping them will be a double-sided tease, leaving you to suffer with low testosterone for another year, but maybe you can eventually get hard for a little while from a little pill? At any point I may again band My boys; possibly, taking away what's left of your libido for several months? Or maybe longer? The question will always be there: Will My boys wake up again? Can your weak libido return? Then if it returns, how many times do My boys have left at the edge? <evil giggle>
I will remind you often that I like to regularly relive every detail of this journey. Each time I do, I quickly get wet and easily gush with an intense orgasm. I know you will be continually reminded of your experience, and what has changed, many times each and every day. you will be unable to deny that I have turned your castration fantasy experience into your reality. <evil chuckle>