Sunday, December 4, 2022

After Effects: sub jason 2 years, 11 months.


In sub jason's own words...

Sub Jason Update - 2 years, 11 months

MsPatty has noted to me that many still follow this journey i have been on with Her.  To be fair, little has changed physically since She shared my last personal update in September.  For those new to reading this journey, there is plenty of week by week and month by month detail in the posted summary details on MsPatty's Medical Blog.  There are my first visits starting in December 2015, with events as far back as July 2019 being relevant to now.  She has also been asked what were my interests? and what were, and now, are MsPatty's goals?  All i can say about the future is that all of us are curious where this may end up, but none of it is written yet.  This is because MsPatty is quite simply A Woman.  There is no script involved.  Even if there were one, She could easily change Her mind at any point, and i know at times She has.

The well summarized version of the past ~3 years is that MsPatty caused my fantasy castration experience to transpire on the evening of December 26, 2019 after a 3+ month stretch of chastity.  She spread a thick castration band on Her tri-bander and closed it around the neck of my scrotum early that evening.  She then forced excess fluids out of 'Her boys' past the band with an acrylic press.  Around 30 minutes into the banding, She injected a total of 3cc Everclear, and removed the band after an hour had passed.  From the moment the band closed, my testosterone began falling.  As the hour progressed, both testicles shut down.  The static Everclear we now know took an additional toll.  The chastity high i walked in with was quickly forgotten, and my once-strong libido faded away during the overnight.  The effects of male menopause (i.e. castration symptoms) took hold over the next few days.  Both testicles quickly swelled to more than 2x, then atrophied to about 1/3 their original size a few weeks later.  i noticed a minor hint of a libido appear after about three months, and some testicle volume returned over the year or so that followed but has not returned to what it was.  Only a minor ~1-2% improvement in T-levels has been seen each year.  It is obvious now that significant damage transpired, and i will probably never know a normal libido again.

At some point during this past year or so, i queried MsPatty about the results She had been aiming for.  Her response was that She hoped for a temporary, yet possibly extended, period of no libido (i.e. a castration experience).  This implied something longer than the ~2-3 months which an hour banding (solo) might typically have produced, with late spring 2020 or the summer more likely for my general recovery.  She had also noticed my fairly high (unmeasured but perceived) testosterone level over many prior visits.  She had hoped for a slight drop in that (i.e. some damage).  As noted in the frequent testing since, i have yet to reach even the low edge of normal testosterone levels.  Both of 'Her boys' are comparatively smaller now.  i remain limp without external physical stimulation or pharmaceutical enhancement, and even those physical effects are off from what i once achieved.  my libido is a mere shadow of what it once was, and at times barely perceivable.  MsPatty knows She far exceeded Her expectations, and this thrills the part of Her which craves needing to control.

MsPatty has been asked a number of times if this was what i wanted.  The question in effect being, did i, "no longer want be able to have normal heterosexual relations with women?"  As far as something permanent was concerned, the answer to that is no.  There was a fantasy involved, implying only a temporary experience.  i had an expectation that at some point i would have recovered much of my libido as it was before.  At the same time, i knew there were risks involved.  Some of them have contributed to what has since transpired, and i have to accept them.

MsPatty reminds me often that, while i am not truly castrated, the resulting impotence/sexual dysfunction from low testosterone does not bother Her.  She believes She has helped 'Her boys' to server a higher purpose (Her).  This has now become part of my extended journey with MsPatty.  She gets off on my ongoing struggles with a low to non-existent libido, and my inability to perform sexually.  Since the pandemic has eased, i know i have missed several opportunities to have sex with interested ladies of my age - all because of what has transpired.  From this, MsPatty knows She controls what remains of my sexual future and has effectively left Her permanent mark inside of me.  

#extreme cbt, #Everclear injections, #body modification, #medfet, #banding, #bdsm medical fetish, #medical cbt, #sub jason update, #castration, #tribander, #testicle banding, #judgment day