Sunday, December 26, 2021

After Effects: sub jason, 24-month update.

sub jason, 24-Month Update, in his own words.

MsPatty has reminded me that another year has passed, and my lease on Her testicles between my thighs is again up for renewal.  As it was a year ago, public opinion is being sought out to influence Her decision and possibly define Her activities around that decision.  My current state of sexual function is another of the factors under consideration.

As it was well documented two years ago, MsPatty's devastated the internal function in each of Her testicles with a band and Everclear injections.  Volume measurements calculate to them being physically below average.  i have had low testosterone levels since i left her space the next morning, with the more recent quarterly Full-T tests confirming the effects.  

A typical healthy male has the capacity to know average testosterone levels (~650ng/nl, within the normal range of 259-850) on only one good testicle.  In this case, both the regular and excess production capacity of both organs was taken away, and observable physical atrophy occurred.  Their reduced size hints at the extent of the damage, and it appears permanent.  At the slow rate i am still improving, my testosterone levels might reach the low/normal line (@ 40% of average) in another year.  That line is not a comfort to me.  It has been estimated my libido had been slightly above average before December 2019. 

In the past several months, i have noticed that the low testosterone has probably caused many of my memories of past sexual activity to fade.  Only the highest intensity events are possible to recall, and the older memories don't register like they used to.  It is difficult to 'feel' the memory when one's loins are no longer flooded with the hormones which made them possible. 

i have asked MsPatty, and She does not consider my current state to be castrated.  She says they still somewhat work.  At the same time, my testosterone levels are insufficient to produce and maintain a natural erection.  This erectile dysfunction means i cannot engage in penetrative sexual intercourse.  my recovery capacity for the next useful sexual emission remains several days.  The quality and quantity of my sexual fluid releases remains greatly diminished.  MsPatty's goal on 12/26/2019 was to leave a lingering reminder.  She has said Her expectations from those events have been greatly exceeded, and it does not bother her that i struggle sexually.  It actually thrills her that i continue to experience the symptoms and frustration of what She took away.

What MsPatty has effectively taken away is my ability to enjoy normal sexual relations with a woman - for the rest of my life.  MsPatty knows that having low testosterone (vs none) leaves open the possibility of additional improvement, albeit remote, at this point.  She also knows it reminds me every day that, for the first half of my adult life, Her testicles had made more than enough testosterone for me to pursue my primal urges.  As for the second half of my life, She has caused there to be only enough to remember what used to be.

The chance is slim, but i still hope for some more improvement, and i need Her testicles to do that.  If it means suffering for her, i desire to do so.


For Christmas this year, I gave him a little blue gift and permission to use My balls between his thighs once before he faces judgement day if he could locate a willing female to penetrate. As of today, he has yet to use My gift. 

In less than 5 days, sub jason will face judgement day which is New Year's Eve. Will he walk out My door with permission to continue to use My balls between his thighs one more year or will I be taking them back which will render them useless?  <wicked grin> 

Only one way to find out.

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