Showing posts with label cbt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cbt. Show all posts

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Post Session: In sub jason's own words...

I have decided to allow you to read in sub jason's own words about his experience and observations since the injections with Everclear and the hour long banding he experienced back on December 26th of 2019. Since he is required to send updates, this is the perfect chance to read about his personal experience. If you haven't read and looked at the eye candy from our night together, catch up by reading previous entries.

The Session Summary:
Cleansing Enema, then a Tri-Bander ring for 1 hour, with 3cc total of Everclear injections to testicles.  Injections were spread into both testicles at multiple points near the 30 minute mark, with a slight bias quantity introduced in the left capsule.  This was followed by a 2000cc scrotal infusion.  Electro, medical, and other sensation activities were mixed in.

(Post-session/Week 1)
After a restrained restless sleep, and some abuse of my soccer-ball sized scrotum the next morning, i am then forced to ejaculate any remaining assets in my male reproductive organ.  Inside the infusion, the testicle capsules, epididymis, and spermatic cords are all in shock, and (in hindsight) they have shut down.  The body sends fluids, with much conveniently located in the bloated scrotum, and the pain from the swelling pressure builds.  my (T)estosterone level has already crashed, but the pain masks this, and displaces my libido right now.  As the scrotum saline infusion is absorbed, it becomes easier to identify each testicle orbs has swelled to about a 2"-2.5" spheres.  That is similar to a small chicken egg, and measures > 2x their normal dimensions.  At mid-week, the entire groin area sensations are something similar to a groin muscle pull.  This general ache is felt at all times, and little movement is needed to escalate.  By the end of the week, the saline infused scrotum has mostly dissipated.  my body is still doing scrotum triage with it's wounded occupants.  Swelling and size are down a fair amount, but component sensitivity remains when any probing is done.

(Week 2)
The first of a few heavy sweats are encountered overnight.  Tenderness on testicles and cords are diminishing from being a day to day constant reminder.  Sensitivity continues to alternate.  i recognize by this time that my libido has failed, as visual and mental-driven erections are not possible, and are manually difficult to achieve for my release attempts/tests.  A distinct void feeling now displaces where the center of my sex drive once originated.  The entire lower torso area is at times humid - probably a symptom of the missing (locally higher) levels of T it presumably would experience.

(Week 3)
i now recognize the hot flashes and cold sweats from the previous week are related to below normal T levels.  Testicle and cord sensitivity remains but is diminished further.  Testicle capsule sizes appear smaller than last summer.  They are developing identifiable contours such as minor dimples or indented lines.  Release quantity/quality still remains low with focused effort needed to succeed, and they carry no euphoric reward.  i think about what is now missing, and the uncertainty as to when it hopefully returns.

(Week 4)
Libido remains close to non-existent.  Void and neutral feelings in the area is my experience.  Releases continue to be of the post-session reduced quantity and quality.  Perceived recharge period after a release remains extended, and releases/erections continue to take effort.  Update feedback is preparing me to anticipate a reduced libido upon it's eventual recovery.

(Week 5)
Some hot flashes during individual days have been experienced.  Testicle contour has further increased with a firmer and textured outer layer.  Lower scrotum skin continues to be thicker as past large infusions have caused it to be.  Libido continues to be low to non-existent.  Releases have had no further improvement.

(Week 6)
Side by side comparison of pics reveals that testicle overall dimensions are possibly 75-80% of their former normal external size.  Releases go from the previously unremarkable to a slight improvement after a weekend of doing construction work around another person with kink interest.  mr penis briefly gets the feeling of puberty's itch one day.  i also recognize that my release spasms over the multi-week period are fewer and also less strong.  i am beginning to miss having had a sex drive.  i am beginning to realize my most intense sexual experiences are likely to have already happened.

(Week 7)
Libido remains low.  Groin area generally feels neutral.  Penis head remains well retracted most of the time.  Releases have remained at the Week-6 minorly improved level.  my former chastity-fueled 5.5"-6" penis now only achieves about 4"-4.5", and takes effort to get there.  Still occasional mid-overnight hot sweats have occurred, maybe one every week or so.  

(Week 8)
With the diminished testicle size likely representative of lost internal structure and function, i am already thinking that an 80% recovery may be the best i can hope for.  i was able to obtain a home T test, and sent the sample in, received at the lab later in this week.  Some minor symptoms pop up that a slight improvement in libido may have occurred, only to return to the previous neutral levels of the past several weeks.  i will enter a month of chastity next week which marks one month to a vacation to help boost any sex drive that may be present.  Physically, the lower scrotum thickness from the infusion is still present as expected, and testicle/cord sensitivity has returned to normal, with the past changes in contour and the alternating firmness still common.

(Week 9)
my free (T)estosterone test results came in.  They are indicative of my lack of libido, my difficulty to become erect, and my formerly average semen mixture and quantity to be reduced.  Although not scientifically measured, it would not surprise me that i have only 25-50% testicle functionality at this point.  i have entered the 1 month of chastity.  my last orgasm, like it was back in September before 115 days chastity passed, was ruined with the deep urethral pressure block.  This time, even though the internal spasm cycle occurred, my failing libido still did not register any sexual peak, and so the related disappointment after also failed to register.  Like the other ~8 weeks, releases have been merely academic.  They produce a measured liquid output (but less than before), and are lacking in a euphoric hormonal reward afterward.  Any achieved peak gets quickly absorbed by the neutral/emptiness that persists in my groin area.

(Week 10)
The T test result has begun to sink in, and one week+ of chastity has passed.  Although i am not caged, there has been little urge to find any kind of sexual edge.  That which defines me as a viable male is but a shadow of its past capacity.  i am considering the possibility that my last successful sexual intercourse with a woman, in later 2018, may have been my last.  This changes the variables to consider with any female relationships that could become more deeper involved.  i am looking at natural libido boosting options and lining up another T test once some noticeable libido recovery occurs.


Latest Update:



Sunday, January 19, 2020

Overnight with sub jason, after effects...

Even though My overnight with sub jason involved several things including infusing his scrotum with 2000ml of saline, I am focusing on the 3 syringe injections of My testicles between his thighs and the hour long banding with the Tri-Bander. The contents of the syringes was unknown to him until last week's update. Since our December 26th overnight together, he was under the impression even though not truly confirmed that he had been injected with CaCl 50% solution that would lead to castration. After our time together, he was instructed to send daily updates that included any physical or psychological changes that he may experience till he no longer experienced any noticeable changes. While I will not be posting his personal updates, I will share the condensed version. I know you're curious. <wicked grin> 

Within hours after leaving, I received his first update.  In his first report, he acknowledge that his release that morning after 115 days of chastity was one of the most intense in 30 plus years. Of course to his knowledge that was his final time to feel orgasmic pleasure. Reading his words brought such a smile to My lips. 

Even though the effects of the scrotal infusion impeded those of the testicle infusion, he reported that My testicles was tender, firm and had swelled at least twice their normal size. Also the spermatic cords had caused the testicles to be high up into the groin plus he felt as though the cords had thickened from swelling. The first couple of days his discomfort from injections and banding was minimal but after a great deal of saline had left his scrotum, the swollen testicles and spermatic cord had increased to a noticeable level especially when moving around. 

During the 2 weeks after our night together, the testicles and spermatic cords has went from very swollen and extremely tender to returning to almost their previous size and only the occasional ache. And yes, he was given permission to attempt to ejaculate which he has achieved. While he does notice a difference in his libido and recovery time, My testicles between his thighs are still healing which means any long term effects at this point has not presented themselves but over time they may.

Latest Update:

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Overnight with sub jason, conclusion...

Have I waited too long to allow him to cum one last time? Good question and with My curious mind, I wanted to know. As he knelt, restrained in the steel stockade with the enormous skin sack bursting past the void between his thighs My inspection continued. Smacking, flicking away, My words flowed past My lips in song keeping rhythm with each echoing sound till I was finally ready to find out.

From off the table to My side, I removed a chux pad when My attempt to prepare and possibly collect in a texas catheter failed. If those hard, useless nuts did decide to push out one last bit of sludge then the pad would collect it for closer inspection. Once the pad was in place, I picked up a vibrator and held it against the engorged nub that had earlier been his cock all the while, I reminded him of the possible content of the 3 little syringes and the possible results. Within moments the vibration caused his lifeless limp cock to spew forth a tiny bit of a thick, chunky, translucent crud that had remained in those worthless nuts. After a quick inspection, I placed the pad under his mouth and forced him to lick the pad clean of his nastiness. As he licked, I told him to sent frequent reports because he knew how much that I enjoy details. I wanted every little pain and physical change that he experienced from his long drive till the day there wasn't anything to report. Soon after, I released him from the kneeling stockade. For awhile afterwards, we talked and I allowed him to clean up then allowed him to hit the road. Even though it was 8am, I was so buzzy from our time together that I laid in bed replaying the events of the night over and over again even a couple of hours afterwards till I finally crashed from exhaustion. 


As of today, it's been a little over 2 weeks since I injected My nuts between his thighs with the contents of those 3 syringes and infused his scrotum with 2000ml of saline plus so much more. As promised, he has been sending very detailed reports about what he has experiened since I injected My nuts. The above pictures show My nuts just before we began on 12/26/2019 and how they are now as of 01/12/2020. 

The possible content of the 3 syringes was CaCl 50% solution, Everclear Grain Alcohol and Saline. During My time with sub jason, after the injections, I continued to taunt him by reinforcing his conclusion that I had injected My nuts with the CaCl 50% solution but to fuck with his head even more so, I for the most part wouldn't confirm if I had actually used the CaCl. I also told him of what to possibily expect the days following our time together even though he had researched the after effects of dead nuts prior to meeting since I had told him months before that I had planned to band My nuts. Oh yes, I was playing the long mind fuck. LOL 

I know you are curious and I know for a fact he is as to what I actually did inject. Was it the CaCl? Was it the Everclear or was it the Saline? I injected the Everclear this time but like I told him when I had My nuts between his thighs in My hands that My decision to allow him to continue to use My nuts will be determined on a year to year basis. <wicked grin>

Latest Update: