Monday, November 15, 2021

Long Distance Banding: sub boy r's 2nd

 In sub boy r's own words:

This week I had my second banding session with Mistress Patty. 

After the first session a few weeks ago I was sore and tight for about 5 days, but after that I seemed to physically return to how it was before.  My libido was definitely down though, which was a good thing. However, I was still getting night-time and morning erections, which I had hoped would reduce.  Mistress Patty therefore started me on a routine which involves placing wide elastic bands (firm but not tight) around my penis for at least half an hour every few days.  This was uncomfortable to start with, but something I have got used to as part of my life.  It has definitely helped - while I still get the occasional erection, they are nowhere near as firm as before.

I was even more excited about our second banding session than I was about the first, probably because I no longer had any anxiety about the unknown.  Mistress Patty was once again a very calm, gentle but firm guide through the whole process, making it very easy to go along with.  We once again started with one band and then added a second, but this time the second one went on much sooner so that I was banded with two bands for longer.  She also had me place the three penis bands on as well.  I won’t hide the fact that there is considerable pain, discomfort and nausea associated with banding. But ice packs help, and Mistress Patty is very good at explaining what is happening and keeping you focused on anything but the discomfort!  It also helps knowing that this is all part of the journey which I have decided to take with Mistress Patty - my journey to castration.  Just to be clear, I have no fantasies about the actual act of castration; there is nothing sexual or arousing about the thought of the castration process itself. For me, I get excited about what comes next - living in a castrated state.  Not in a gender transformation sense, but more like a pre-pubescent boy, an age of innocence:  no libido, no urges.

While I was banded I found myself wondering whether Mistress Patty would make me keep the bands on long enough to destroy my testicles - she has told me it is always possible she could do that. I thought about how I would feel if she told me that was happening, and how I would react.  The first thing I realized is that I would accept her decision and let it happen.  I have committed myself to her for this journey and trust her to do what is right at the right time.  Because I have decided I don’t want them, and because Mistress Patty and I have formed a good relationship, I have already mentally given my testicles to her.  My balls are the property of Mistress Patty.  I’ll be honest though and say that I would have been disappointed if it had turned out that way, because I would very much like her to take them from me in person. 

When the bands came off (which is the most painful part!) my penis was shriveled and my testicles were tightly compacted. My right testicle felt small and hard. We will see in a few days whether there is any permanent damage. The main feeling though was euphoria. A sense of achievement that another step on the journey has been taken, and a sense of fulfillment knowing that this is the right journey for me.  And I am lucky to have the best guide possible to share the journey with!

#blonde bbw, #extreme cbt,  #medfet,  #bdsm, #medical fetish, #medical cbt, #mistress patty, #sub boy r, #castration, #cock banding, #testicle banding, #tribander, #body mod, #body modification, #ball banding, #cfnm, #medSadist